KNEW

In 1958, Spokane's radio station KNEW was located at 790 AM on the dial and at Moran Prairie on the Earth. It was populated by a crazy set of denizens – disk jockeys that each assumed a contrived personality. They pretended to compete with one-another on the air and often indulged in good-natured sparring. Four of the DJs were named “Bob” -- or at least they assumed that stage name. Thus the station advertised “The Four Bobs.” At one time there may have even been “The Five Bobs.”

I worshiped KNEW to the extent that I never turned off my radio during the four years I was at Rogers. I slept to the sound of KNEW. It may have warped me while I slept.

I cannot recall all of the Bobs, except Bob Carmichael, Bob Salter and Bob Adkins. Bob Adkins' shift was usually early evening. Bob Salter drove a VW and lived in Couer d'Alene. His shift started at or near midnight. He referred to Bob Adkins as “Addie Bobkins.” Adkins referred to Bob Salter as “Salter.”

As the time for shift-change approached, Bob Adkins would say, “Even now, Salter is wending his way here from Couer d' Alene in his little Volkswagen.” The line was always the same. A five-minute newscast separated the shifts. Adkins would give the news, and then his shift ended. He would stay on-air to banter with Salter for a few minutes.

Together, they would bad-mouth the late-afternoon man, Bob Carmichael. They nicknamed him “Carbuncle,” claiming that a carbuncle was a pain-in-one's neck. I looked this up. It was defined as a painful bacterial abscess or boil that could be on the neck. A pain in the neck. So KNEW was educational, in addition to being entertaining!

Bob Carmichael dished out his own form of abuse on Frank Herrin, the morning man. His stage name was “Frantic Frank Herrin,” or “Frantic Frank,” or just “Frantic.” His on-air persona would stutter trying to say a sentence too fast. This dithered speech pattern gave rise the the “Frantic” moniker. I'm sure it was all an act, but billboards around Spokane used to advertise KNEW by stating, “Did you Frantic this morning?” The word “Frantic” was written in wavy type.

I only heard Frantic on Saturdays. One of the Bobs, or another DJ, had the nickname, “Rocky Jockey.” Frantic used to play a well-known song of the time that had jungle noises and a chant. The song's name escapes me, but Frantic claimed the chant was “Rockey Jockey, Rockey Jockey, Rocky Jockey.” I listened closely. He was right as far as I could tell!

In about 1959 a new DJ entered the scene. His name was Ron, not Bob! Ron McDonald was the name. I'd not heard of McDonalds until the next year at Michigan State. Even so, they had not yet created the clown, Ronald McDonald. However I had a neighbor of that name, so I can easily recall the DJ's name

One day Ron McDonald was a speaker at Rogers for a vocation day. He talked about being a DJ. As part of his appearance, he did a remote broadcast from the student parking lot at Rogers. I was / am a geek, so I was interested in how he got the signal to the KNEW transmitter. I thought he had an antenna like they raise on a remote mast today. I was ahead of my time. He told me he broadcast on a phone line to the studio. I was disappointed.

Then he asked me for a cup of coffee. I was a mere student, but I took on the mission. I went to the cafeteria and asked for a cup of coffee for the Ron McDonald. They looked at me like I was trying to score drugs. Students were not allowed to drink coffee. I was able to explain that Ron McDoanld was an adult who was a guest of the school. The cafeteria worker gave me a suspicious look, but grudgingly gave me a cup of coffee for my KNEW hero. That was my only personal contact with any of the voices at KNEW.

In 1960, I departed for Michigan State University. Six years later, I was living and working in San Francisco. One of the Bay Area AM stations was KNEW. I was so confused. It turned out that my KNEW became KJRB while some Bay Area station became KNEW. Nothing is forever.

-- Eddie Mauget